Saturday, October 23, 2004

Lessons Learned

but why are they so hard?

I want to write something totally profound about life and lessons learned. But, I'm probably not going to quite get there, at least not the "profound" level of insight and wisdom. I could borrow what other wise people have said, but we've all heard it before. You know, it's really hard to learn a lesson from someone else's mistakes. I mean, if it really were possible for "me" to learn from "your" mistakes and life lessons, then what would my life be like. Would I really understand right from wrong, choices and consequences, good and bad, righteous and evil?

I've had one of those weeks that life just throws at you when things are going wrong or right, quiet or changing. It doesn't's just one of those times when a life lesson was supposed to come my way - IN A BIG WAY :)

Have you ever looked back after one of these BIG lessons happen and wonder what was I really saved from? Could I have been injured, hospitalized, paralized, or even worse, dead as a result of some behavior that I was engaging in? Sometimes, it's revealed to us, but most of the time, it's not we just have to believe that everything happens for a reason and try to learn the reason by living the by product in our own life. Thus, LESSON LEARNED.

This week I learned that my family really means more to me than anything else. I mean, I already knew it, but sometimes it's taken for granted that everything is the 'status quo'. My kids are more important to me than anything. My oldest daughter lives pretty close to me and works alot, but it's nice to know that she is only minutes away. My son is in college, a good achiever, a faithful believer and is a total pleasure to be around. My youngest daughter is a senior in high school, has her whole life in front of her and still needs my guidance. It would be so sad for all of them if something happened to me at this point in our lives - when their lives are just beginning and my life is just opening up to a new chapter.

Then there's my wonderful partner. Relationships need to be worked on DAILY, not just occasionally. When couples find themselves extremely busy they have to make their relationship a priority, otherwise some of the affection and closeness suffers as a result. I'm the busy one - working more than I should but as much as I have to to keep up with the workload. Then, I want to have some time to spend with my friends. I have spent my entire life devoted to my children, however, I'm at the point where they are busy and don't want to spend as much time with me as it was. So, I want to spend time with my Girl Friends!

But, when the chips are down and I really need someone to help me out, my partner is there to pick up the pieces, not chastise me, but to really help and love me. Now, that's what I'm talking about :) The love shows through no matter what.

As a result of this 'terrible' week, he and I are stronger than ever. One of my friends wisely observed that perhaps he sees me as a 'little less than perfect' and it makes me more human. He has put me on a pedelstal, treating me like a queen, doing anything I asked him to do. And in return, I have not been so polite all the time, kind of crabby and critical at times to be sure. But this week has renewed something in the relationship. The kinder, gentler side of me, the stronger, leadership side of him. He's treated me wonderfully, been extra nice to me and shown me that love conquers all. At my age, it's a nice affirmation.

Several lessons learned this week:
1. life is fragile, don't take it for granted. Love my family, spend time with them, support them, they are the core of my life.
2. respect my partner. He deserves it, afterall he does live with me (does put up with me :)
3. practice what I preach. If I give advice to my children, then I should live it as well.
4. my actions affect so many others. Think about it, there's my partner, my kids, my friends, my colleagues, my neighbors. All of the people that a person touches and doesn't realize the impact that their life may have on them.

Well, I'm off to deal with the reality of a terrible week; work through the issues because I always do; solve the problem because it's been identified; and vow to have better weeks!

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