Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Feeling Better

taking control of my future

I have an opportunity to open a bar/restaurant. Or at least, I'm checking into an opportunity. If I could open a bar I would love it!! I have always loved the industry. I know that there are pitfalls and I know that my training takes me to a different level, but my love - running a bar, being at the bar, hanging with my regular customers. It's the people interaction, I absolutely love it. And I suppose it's why I love what I am currently doing - it's all about the customers/clients, the interaction, the planning, the meetings, the help I can give them. It's also why I don't like some of the things that my manager asks me to do - it seems like busy work, like a waste of time, like an admin should be handling these tasks - Not a department manager. YIKES!

So for those reasons, I am actively learning about the bar business. I have recruited a team, a bar manager, bartenders, wait staff, kitchen staff is the last to talk to. I am really excited because for the first time in years, I feel that I am taking control of my future, planning a future business for my kids and the location of the first place is definitely a great location, in an area that will be up and coming due to urban sprawl, but is currently serviced by industry in the area.

I will have more to say as I get into it. I currently have 2 mentors that are willing to help me understand the responsibilities, the pitfalls, the watch-outs and hopefully will encourage me to move forward. Not sure where I will get the money, but I never let that stop me before!!

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

work week well under way

And it's so hectic

Good thing I'm feeling better. My week started out pretty hairy and it's continuing that way. I don't have a "busy" calendar but I do have quite a bit of work to do, project work to follow up and financial reporting to complete. I'm a little behind on a couple of items because I've been busy with my clients, but it won't take much to get me back on track. I know that my industry is extremely busy, I just would like to have a breather from time to time. A colleague of mine, who works for another company, described it to me last week as a train that just never stops. That about sums it up.

I feel the effects of that, as I continue to try to find balance between famly life and work life. I don't want my work life to be the main part of me, I want to have a family life - enjoy my kids while I still can, spend time with those I love, try to find a new relationship and still keep up my maintenance on my house and such. It's crazy, but I really want to have a life - many people in IT figure it can happen LATER or after they RETIRE. Geez, I don't want to wait until retirement - that's NUTS! I want to enjoy things now, to stop and smell the roses, to enjoy the laughter in my home, to know what my kids are up to and who they are hanging with, have a nice social life where I actually spend time with my friends and develop a love life that will carry me into my "golden years"! AAAAAACCKKKK!!

So, it's a balancing act. I make lots of lists and cross things off that have to get done. I keep calendars, prioritize work and home tasks. It's the only way. Otherwise, nothing gets done. And the MOST important thing I've learned over the years - DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF! For me, it's things like - vacuuming, dusting, cutting the grass, pulling weeds and so on. I will get to it, but maybe not TODAY. I will get them done, in time for the next week of tasks. It just doesn't DRIVE ME anymore.

It used to.....I was totally neurotic. I had to get A, B, C, D, etc. done TODAY. There was no tomorrow, no matter how long, how late and how inconvenient, it HAD TO BE DONE TODAY!!! Whew! Glad I'm past that now. It's freeing, a relief, I'm driven but from within instead of external drive. It's much different now and I'm glad.

Over the weekend, I did shoot some pool on Friday. That worked out pretty well. Last night was pool league night and I won again this week. It's nice to know that all my efforts to beat these guys during the week pays off on Monday nights. When I can put into practice all the tips and tricks I learn from them and beat my opponent. I'm going to permanently join the team on Monday's and shoot pool with them more often. LOVING IT!!

Hey, I gotta get back to work. Will write more later......

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Overcoming being sick


It's been a heck of a week. Been sick, coughing like crazy. Not sure what's the matter, to tell the truth. Until Thursday, I could take it any more, so I went to the doctor. I NEVER GO TO MY PRIMARY CARE PHYSICIAN. In fact, he said I never go to him :) First of all, he took the place of my long-time doctor. He's really nice, though, I enjoyed meeting him and I thought he was very thorough. He made sure to ask alot of questions about my medical history, etc. and to spend some time with me. So I liked that. Then he listened to my congestion and told me that I had 'walking pneumonia'! Wonderful - now 3 days into my Z-pack and taking Mucinex in the daytime and some vicatin cough syrup at night, I"m at least taking some rest :) THANK GOD! I had not had a good nights sleep in 4 nights before this.

So, obviously, I didn't stay at work the entire day. But I did go in. I had some meetings and I was part of a panel discussion on web metrics. That was great! I felt better just doing something positive for my career. Then afterwards, I took my doc's advice, came home and lounged on my deck in the sun, feeling the sun's healing rays.

But the best part is that it's the weekend, I'm feeling a little better this morning.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

It's Wednesday!!

We're halfway there!

It's Wednesday, seems like the week should have been over by now! It's been sooooo crazy! I've worked so much, wearing my firefighter hat for most of the week. I can definitely feel the heat. But, work is work and that's part of the responsibility of my job. So, this happens to be my week to deal with it.

In the meantime, I've been sick. Not running a fever, not sick to my stomach, but coughing and coughing. I'm tired of it. I don't get to sleep because this thing in hanging on tight. I've taken dayquil, nyquil, alka seltzer plus, cough syrup, and some natural supplements. I've tried so many things and it just seems that NOTHING is working.

I'll be glad when this week is over, although my next two days are pretty good. I get to spend some time with my clients, in meetings and strategizing - my favorite thing. Then on Friday I am a guest panelist for the American Marketing Association, Cincinnati Branch. The topic is on web measures, so I'm really excited because this is definitely a topic that is near and dear to my heart. It's a total pleasure to discuss these topics with the group. I do have quite a bit of experience in this area. They sent out a list of questions, so I'll just be sure I can give decent answers to those questions and with my specific knowledge in B2C measures, I should be ok. I'm kind of nervous, but it's more nervous of the unknown - what will the audience think? what will they act like? stuff like that.

Well, I'm off to QA a website. We want to get it ready for the client ASAP. :)

Monday, April 11, 2005

Men are so confusing


here's some shit. Rainman shows up this weekend to get some of his stuff out of the basement. That's a good thing, but then, he offers to help me with the lawnmower, which is good, because I didn't know what to do to make sure it was ready for the summer cutting season. So, he comes to get some of his stuff, tells me that he's hanging out with his wife so he can hang out with his kids, gets a bunch of his stuff and then he wants to help me out. What the hell? I haven't heard from him in months, he has totally ignored me, NEVER asked me how my test results turned out --- he didn't FUCKING care and now he's gonna ACT like he wants to be my FRIEND. FUCK THAT!! Wasn't it him that said that ex-couples cannot be friends??!! Who in the fuck does he think he is??

Then, he wants a hug????????????? GET OUT!! Take your need to have a hug, which would represent forgiveness or something in his favor and stick the fucking hug up your ass!! I am not interested in this type of relationship. Then, he's gonna invite me to dinner? Gonna invite me to cook out? What is he thinking? Does he think because he gets drunk and forgets the pain of the last few months that now that he's sober so everything is just ok???? he is TOTALLY CRAZY!! I am not interested in being his friend, to be honest. I know what that means to him. It means he FEELS SORRY FOR ME!! Fuck that! I am not interested in his PITY.

I've been asked to come to his place tomorrow after work to look for my CDs. Here's my question, he probably has the CDs, he won't look for them, shouldn't I just spend the $20 and buy the damn CD to replace the original? Should I put myself in the situation that will allow him to ask me questions, to make me talk to him. To be honest, when I found out what he did at the Halloween party at Bug and Gnat's house, I was MORTIFIED!! TOTALLY FUCKING MORTIFIED, I TELL YOU!! It's so HORRIBLE, that I can't even write about it.

what the hell does he want from me? Does he want me to FORGIVE him? If so, he's not getting it right now. I mean to tell you, he just FUCKING disappeared from the face of the planet and now that he can face everyone again, he thinks that makes everything OK. He's soooooooooooooo self centered and CRAZY!! I give up.

Rainman, he played a game with himself and tried to play the game with me. He drug me into his madness, played the CO-DEPENDENT GAME with me and I fucking HATE IT!! How dare he.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

My Vacation Week

It Was Heavenly!!

My vacation is coming to an end and tomorrow morning when I get up I have to get ready for work. Not sure if I'm ready for it. I enjoyed my week off so much. It was very relaxing and fun. Spring showed itself for the first time during last week. I was so happy to have those days off to enjoy it. I loved being outside those days.

Now, it's back to, busy schedules, kids, pool practice and all the other things that I have to do. I think the next time that I'll see Guitarman will be Wed for a short time and then next weekend to shoot pool I could certainly use the practice. I need to be fearless when I shoot in tournaments. I need to turn on the charm, use the psychological advantage.

So, it was good to have the week off. I spent time with friends, that was fun, got to relax, go out, probably drank a little too much, but it was a good time.

Friday, April 01, 2005

Comment back to poster

Thanks for your input

This is back to the person that posted a comment on the blog about the car...I thank you and TOTALLY AGREE with you about the cost of this accident.

The only thing that we haven't been able to take care of is who is her insurance company. We don't know that because a police report was never filed and since she won't talk or answer the victim's insurance agent's phone calls, we can't get to the step of insurance company talking to insurance company. THAT'S WHY THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING!!!

You Decide....

the damage done to my son's girlfriend's car by my former associate. You be the judge!! Posted by Hello
This is what her car looks like. Damage to the front fender, the bumper is pushed up against the fender and as you can see, since it happened Mid-December, it's already starting to rust.

Now, she's avoiding the insurance company...what kind of behavior is that?? Does she really think that she's not going to have to pay the $500-$700? Does she think the insurance company is going to say, "it's okay, since you ignored the situation, we'll just let it slide...." HA!

So don't you think she should pay to fix the damn car????? Wouldn't it behoove her to save face??? to do the right thing??? Does she even understand the morals and ethics and integrity of her behavior???? It's UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE!!!