Sunday, March 13, 2005

Responsibility and Integrity

Chapter 2

Ok, this goes back a few weeks to my blog about my friend and integrity. I know I didn't reveal the details of the transgression, at the time. But I just have to explain because I still don't get it.

Back in December, she picked me up to go out and hit my son's girlfriend's car which was parked across the street from my driveway. She just didn't see the car. No big deal, accidents happen. She asked if she could just pay to get the car fixed, help keep her insurance rate from hiking up. I didn't see it as a problem, hey, it was among friends, right?!?

After the whole entire situation blew up on the 28th, it became obvious that she was not going to pay to fix the car that she hit. So the owner of the car called her insurance company to help her get her car fixed. Well, just yesterday, I found out that the car is still not fixed, my "friend" won't return the insurance company's phone calls.

You know, I was starting to get soft on the whole idea of "hoping to maintain a friendship" with my friend. I will be seeing her soon and was going to make an effort to "make up". It was driving me nuts that we were not talking to each other any more, until I learned this. You know, the thing that is getting to my entire family is the fact that she makes plenty of money, she could more than afford to pay for the damages to the car. Instead, she turned the fault onto the car owner, who wasn't even around when the car got hit!!

How bizarre is this? How many lies has she told? to me? to others? How many false accusations has she made? What is she REALLY about? Better to find out now before I got in too deep.

So now what do you think????


Anonymous said...

Ummm, what am I missing? Isn't this about taking responsibility for one's actions? How does a person become successful without that trait?

The car situation seems straightforward -- that's why we have insurance, true? -- the friendship situation, more complex.

We all hope for simple solutions, even for difficult problems. Casual observers (like me) might ask, "why not simply clear the air about this incident and the hurt it has caused you?"....perhaps there are underlying circumstances. If not, at least your openness will demonstrate your interest in maintaining this relationship. If that doesn't work, you have to ask yourself if you can accept a different type of "friend" -- warts and all.

Hmmm, I've astonished myself by giving advice that might work very well in my own relationships!

I hope it all works out for you. :)

Jules said...

I'm with anonymous. I candid and address all the issues. Then make a decision as to whether or not this is a person worth having as a friend.

Heaven said...

Ok, I am with you both on this. I will make an effort to "clear the air". I certainly have been hurt by this but at the same time miss my friend.

I just worry that I'm setting myself up for a future incident. But, I will deal with it as it comes.

I appreciate your input and advice.