Tuesday, February 20, 2007

TWENTY NINE LINES FROM MAXINE

If you're having the kind of day I'm having, then read and enjoy. Guaranteed to make you smile......


1. My
wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
17. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18. Procrastinate Now!
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26. Ham and eggs.A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28. The original point and click inter face was a Smith & Wesson.
29. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.


Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is too short and friends are too few.

2 comments:

Cochise said...

Hi, Heaven!


Here's a post I'd like to have written myself. Very good! (I was thinking of writing about this matter someday)
I must confess I don’t believe that all those beautiful people in the pictures that are supposed to identify the blog/site owner correspond to the real person behind the computer. Do you? Anyway, it’s curious how important it is to have the right picture/avatar in order to get much more visitors/adds/members, no matter how bad the site/blog might be.
This is not a sociological study, this is what I think.

Have a nice day!

Heaven said...

Hi Cochise,

Your observations are very cool and inspired me to write about your suggestion. Thanks! I really like you and your inputs!!

Peace,
Heaven