Inventory, reconciliation, audit - tis the season! In business, these are events that are scheduled
It's good to do an internal inventory or audit annually. I am been going through that process with my house, cleaning closets, the basement, giving things away. It's just good to take that inventory of personal possessions. We just end up with too much 'stuff' or 'stuff' that doesn't fit our lifestyle any longer. But then, there's the internal 'stuff', the emotional baggage that we carry around. Maybe it's as simple as a grudge against your ex, or some hard feelings for someone at work, or even that helpless feeling of never knowing how to tell people 'no' when you really don't want to do something. All of those things can bog us down, make us feel helpless at times, out of control.
We can't control every situation, but for those things that we can control, it's good to know that we have learned to let some things go to the wayside - not worth the effort or emotions to hang on to them.
Take my ex. I used to spend alot of energy being upset with him, analyzing why he was acting a certain way or telling the kids a certain thing, treating the kids a certain way - whatever it was. When I would see him, my blood would boil. Then someone helped me with a few things to relieve that 'anger' in me. One thing that I learned is that you can't feel that much anger if there isn't some love there. The love was old, it was hurt, therefore it was turning to anger. I think it's normal in an "ex" situation, especially where kids are involved. But when I learned to admit that I USED to love him and that he HURT me then but can't hurt me NOW, I started feeling some relief. I never bad-mouthed him to the kids, I figured they are really smart, they'll figure it out in their own time. And now at 20 and 18, they have.
Another lessons learned was to actually pray for him. This was hard because that meant I had to think about him and I didn't like that. It took me some time to get this one down, but over time, I found it to actually relieve my anger and hurt. Funny, I prayed for his well-being and I received the blessing. God is so cool. And now, somethings that bugged me before are coming back to haunt him without my direct intervention. Like the child support he owes me - he owes me YEARS and YEARS of $$$$. Well, he was driving home one night and got pulled over in a routine traffic stop - had a taillight out or something. During that stop, it was discovered that his drivers' license was under suspension due to NON-PAYMENT OF CHILD SUPPORT. They seized his license, cut him a break and followed him home. Told him not to drive and gave him a court date. He went to court and has to pay either 10% of the amount owed (because he's "self-employed") or he has to get a REAL JOB and have it be a payroll deduction. That's it. So, to date, I've yet to receive any cash, he doesn't have a drivers' license and we'll see what happens next.....and the BEST PART IS THAT I DID NOT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING BUT PRAY :) I'm telling you, it works. GOD IS SOOOOOOOOOOO COOL!
So, in the spirit of the season, I am starting to take an audit or inventory of my personal life, feelings, habits, and attitudes. My goal is to always grow and improve myself. To become a better person. To lighten my load so I can achieve the goals set in front of me. One of the first things that I have done is set appointments for annual check-ups. It's a good idea to start with your health. As you know, I've been dieting and that's been going pretty good so far. I think I'm 13 weeks into it and am around the 35 pound mark. It has been slowing down, but it's still on the decline. So that's good. So, one improvement activity that I know I have to implement is working out. I need to walk on my treadmill every day and take the dog for a walk more. I need to do some exercises - situps, crunches, lift some weights to tighten up and that will help alot too. So, I've started the quest, just need to remember it's the end of the year which is a good time to INVENTORY, IMPROVE AND IMPLEMENT!