Monday, April 11, 2005

Men are so confusing


here's some shit. Rainman shows up this weekend to get some of his stuff out of the basement. That's a good thing, but then, he offers to help me with the lawnmower, which is good, because I didn't know what to do to make sure it was ready for the summer cutting season. So, he comes to get some of his stuff, tells me that he's hanging out with his wife so he can hang out with his kids, gets a bunch of his stuff and then he wants to help me out. What the hell? I haven't heard from him in months, he has totally ignored me, NEVER asked me how my test results turned out --- he didn't FUCKING care and now he's gonna ACT like he wants to be my FRIEND. FUCK THAT!! Wasn't it him that said that ex-couples cannot be friends??!! Who in the fuck does he think he is??

Then, he wants a hug????????????? GET OUT!! Take your need to have a hug, which would represent forgiveness or something in his favor and stick the fucking hug up your ass!! I am not interested in this type of relationship. Then, he's gonna invite me to dinner? Gonna invite me to cook out? What is he thinking? Does he think because he gets drunk and forgets the pain of the last few months that now that he's sober so everything is just ok???? he is TOTALLY CRAZY!! I am not interested in being his friend, to be honest. I know what that means to him. It means he FEELS SORRY FOR ME!! Fuck that! I am not interested in his PITY.

I've been asked to come to his place tomorrow after work to look for my CDs. Here's my question, he probably has the CDs, he won't look for them, shouldn't I just spend the $20 and buy the damn CD to replace the original? Should I put myself in the situation that will allow him to ask me questions, to make me talk to him. To be honest, when I found out what he did at the Halloween party at Bug and Gnat's house, I was MORTIFIED!! TOTALLY FUCKING MORTIFIED, I TELL YOU!! It's so HORRIBLE, that I can't even write about it.

what the hell does he want from me? Does he want me to FORGIVE him? If so, he's not getting it right now. I mean to tell you, he just FUCKING disappeared from the face of the planet and now that he can face everyone again, he thinks that makes everything OK. He's soooooooooooooo self centered and CRAZY!! I give up.

Rainman, he played a game with himself and tried to play the game with me. He drug me into his madness, played the CO-DEPENDENT GAME with me and I fucking HATE IT!! How dare he.

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