I just don't know how to explain what has happened over the last month. I guess to most of you, this is insane and very impulsive. But to those that know me and "the guy" it's par for the course. We dated while I was in high school and then into college. We had a wonderful relationship back then, had lots in common and were in love. We shared everything, went everywhere together, supported each other, really were a partnership - a couple. I didn't give marriage much thought back in those days - I was too anti-establishment, but mostly just didn't give it much thought. So, we didn't discuss it, had an argument, and then broke up. It's terrible, we missed out on so much fun together and the years of being deeply in love.
Now, all these years later (and I do mean ALL these years....) he has found me, after years of searching off and on again. My name has changed due to marriage, but fortunately about 5 years ago, I changed it back to my maiden name, listed it in the phone book and went on about my merry way. I've had a history of bad relationships and things just never seemed like they would get any better. I have been willing to settle.......not a good thing at all. I want a partner, someone that wants what I want out of life and already has his shit together. I want to be with someone that loves me more than I love myself.
Well, I found it. Well, technically, he found me. I just got back from visiting him after all this time. We got along great, as soon as we saw each other, we were happy as could be. I just can't describe the feelings we have for each other. But I do know, that I am going to move so we can be together. He can't leave his job, he wouldn't get a job in Ohio, so sometime in the near future, I'm off to California for good. I can get a job out there and live with him, happily ever after. He was my first and ONLY TRUE love. All my life I searched for what I had with him to begin with. I was just too young to understand what I had in him. And now, by the grace of God, I have been granted a second chance and I'm taking it. I praise God for His goodness and kindness to me.
Now, I'm off to the planning time for my major move...job, house hunting, moving, cleaning out closets, lightening my load. putting lots of goodies on eBay, and more to do.