Preparing a Survey: Perception & Involvement in Adoption

I am currently writing survey questions and will be sending out the link to everyone I can asking for participation. My goal is to gather as much information I can about everyone's perception and involvement in adoption. I want to show that almost everyone knows someone that has been adopted or has been affected by adoption in some way, large or small. 

If you are reading this blog, then I would ask you to participate. As soon as the survey is live, I will be posting the link on Google+, Facebook, Twitter, and any other place I can think of!! I plan to create a Facebook page that will support the survey, request people to tell their "stories" about adoption and to showcase the survey results.

I'm very excited! This has been in the makings for years. I always knew I would write a book about my experiences but they seem so uneventful and only interesting to me and my family. However, a collection of other experiences is powerful! That's what I want to do - publish a book that is powerful about the truth of adoption.

"...And in the end... The love you take is equal to the love you make." ---The Beatles

Thanks for reading my Heavenly Thoughts

About To BURST!

What do you do when you know something that is so BIG that you want to shout it from the rooftops!?!  You SHOUT it!!

I had that happen this holiday season - something that meant so much to me that I wanted to shout it out! Unfortunately, it's all about timing and the time isn't right. One day soon, the shouting will begin :)

What does it "FEEL" like to be adopted?

I have known my entire life that I was adopted. I did not even know what that meant, but it was one of attributes that my Mom felt was important that I identified with - like I am girl, tall, adopted, only-child, live in Cincinnati, smart, wear glasses, have blonde hair, hazel eyes and have a dog, a Mom and a Dad.

My Mom defined adopted as: We picked you out of all of the other children in the world to be our daughter and family. Wow! Out of all the children in the world, I was special and was "chosen". To this day, the concept of "choosing" is VERY important to me. (See my previous blog posts about this topic)

And even though my Mom worked very hard to make me "FEEL" not-adopted, I had it in my DNA that I am adopted. Sometimes when I thought about being adopted, I wondered what my parents were like, did I have siblings, what was going on with them that adoption was the best solution and so many more questions?

Always questions and feelings.  And after all this time, I still have days that I never give it any thought, other days it's all I think about. The feelings run the whole gamete of everything from extremely GREAT to extremely SUCKY. Here's a sample of what I sometimes feel:

• Rejection, Resentful
• Acceptance, Loved
• Hurt, Abandoned
• Chosen, Selected
• Empty, Angry
• Special, Happy
• Relieved, Alive!!!!!
• Curious but Afraid

What might have happened if I wasn't adopted? Would I be the same person, strong, goal-oriented, persevere, successful, even alive? Would I have been abused mentally or physically because I was unwanted? We see it often in the news, babies and children that are mistreated because they are unwanted. Wow, I wasn't any of that!!! Thank God!

I  was adopted into an awesome family, a Mother that loved me with all her being. A Father that was lacking but tried - many don't even try. :) 

I am going to work on an adoption project this year. I believe that most of my friends and family have been affected by adoption in some way - I'm not a psychologist or a social worker but I do want to collect people's opinions, experiences, thoughts about adoption and how it has affected them for my research. I will be reaching out to find you for my 2013 Project.

Stay tuned.....more coming soon!

"...And in the end... The love you take is equal to the love you make." ---The Beatles

Thanks for reading my Heavenly Thoughts

It's a New Year and a New Goal

I'm a closet author. I never pursued it because I don't know if I'll be good at it. Poor excuse, I know.  Fear of failure, gets me every time. Until I internalize something for so long that I just decide TODAY IS THE DAY!

I am going to move forward with one of my ideas. I've been inspired by someone that I have not even met, but he published a book, The Fine Art of Blogging, which I was honored to be part of, along with many other bloggers.

I am going to reach out to my network to ask them to participate. If I ask you, please say yes, sharing your experience with others will be invaluable to you and to them.

And Thank You!!

"...And in the end... The love you take is equal to the love you make." ---The Beatles

Thanks for reading my Heavenly Thoughts

Christmas Presents

This year my husband and I are taking a new approach on gift-giving. Every year, we save money at every paycheck for Christmas presents. And every year, we spend all of it on Christmas, which is OK, that's what it's for. But, it just seems that there is so much "stuff" and too many "presents" for everyone.

So, this year, we are looking to make Christmas "simple". Simple gifts, that REALLY mean something to both the giver and receiver, that don't cost a ton of money, that will be remembered and hopefully will have sentimental value.

I don't have time to knit big presents for everyone, but I do have time to make some small items.

1. Hats for some friends - I've been asked to make baby hats for a couple of friends for their gift giving.
2. Leg warmers for my granddaughter that takes dance lessons. Makes sense :)
3. shawl/scarf for my daughter, for winter. Is both professional and attractive for work.
4. Dish clothes for everyone - durable, quick knits. have them mostly done.
5. New hats for my granddaughters - I'm looking at some really FUN patterns, with pompoms, colorful, and of course warm.

6. For my adult kids - I'm thinking zoo passes, museum passes, movie passes, the gift of music & movies for home viewing. Also, gift cert to a nice restaurant for a date night.

So, I'm making my list and checking it twice.....hope I can get it all done in only 40 more days :)

"...And in the end... The love you take is equal to the love you make." ---The Beatles

Thanks for reading my Heavenly Thoughts

Election Day, Thank God it will be OVER!

I'm so relieved that tomorrow is finally election day. The non-stop ads on television, radio, internet sites, mailings and yard signs. The election season seems so long and slow.....it's kind of like waiting for Christmas to get here when you were a child. It seemed to take forever!!

The constant barrage of polls, negative ads, more polls, facebook and twitter posts, new polls, blogs, and opinion polls. I live in Ohio, so not only has the media splash been a drowning of ads, but the candidates and their families, celebrities, etc. been here almost every day. I suppose we are fortunate to get so much attention. Who knew Ohio would ALWAYS be the most important state?!?

Don't get me wrong, I'm 100% in favor of our democratic process - I love voting and instill the passion for the process into my children. My family has been active in local level politics and I grew up knowing it is my civic duty.

But wouldn't it be nice to hear ads like:
1. I plan to do "specifics"
2. I believe in "specifics"
3. I will lead the country "specifically"

I know that once they are in office, they become privileged to information that may not enable them to execute their plans, but at least tell us what the plans are. Talk more about why I should cast my vote for a candidate instead of why I shouldn't cast it for the other one.  And this isn't just the presidential race, it's at every level of campaigning.

I'll be glad it's over.

"...And in the end... The love you take is equal to the love you make." ---The Beatles

Thanks for reading my Heavenly Thoughts

Difficult People

We all have them in our lives - difficult people. The thing I don't get is what is to gain by being difficult. I've always found that the best policy is to be a team-player, honest, straight-forward and factual but not confrontational and accusatory.

I've left jobs before because of difficult bosses. It can become a living hell if you don't have a manager that is on your side. I know managing people is not for everyone and some are better at it than others. But even if the manager is "so-so" as long as they are a team player it works out. It those that are difficult that make people give up and move on.

I'm reminiscent today, never regretted my decision to move on when faced with difficult managers - especially when I've tried to initiate change. Adios! Moving on to bigger and brighter things.

And the same can be said in personal relationships. I was always searching for my life partner but never could be happy and always picked someone that ended up being difficult. Yikes. Always leads to frustration and heartache.

And now in my life I've managed to be in a great relationship, have wonderful children and grandchildren, and a job that is perfect for me. So all the difficult people in my past have helped me achieve what I have today.

Thanks to them and thanks to me!