Friday, May 28, 2010

Attributes I Wanted in a Husband

Over 5 years ago, I finally sat down with my journal and wrote this VERY list of the top attributes I wanted in a husband. My son suggested I do this. I'm so glad he did, because once I wrote it down the blinders were lifted and I could clearly see what was important to me. NO MORE COMPROMISE!  When I think of a lot of my relationships or dates, they were mainly me compromising and accepting these guys 'as they are' but they weren't what I really wanted.

I suggest everyone does this - it's your roadmap to a successful relationship. And lo and behold, within a year of writing this out, God answered my unspoken prayer and sent me Roland. A lot of people meet him and wonder about him because he's so quiet. But rest assure - he is this list!!  I love him sooo much!

Here's the top attributes on my list:
  1. he cannot be addicted to alcohol or drugs, recovering or active. It's preferred that he can go out to dinner or a party, have a drink and be socialable. No judgement on me because I have a drink.
  2. he has to have a career. I do, so should he.
  3. he has to have a retirement plan. Hey, I'm not getting any younger!! I want to know that I am not going to be stuck working until the day I die! Not only does he have to have a plan for the future, he has to have money saved so that it can come to fruition.
  4. he has to love my kids, even though they are grown up and may/may not live with us. First and foremost, I will ALWAYS BE A PARENT!!
  5. he has to have his own place to live - apartment, condo or house, I don't care. He CANNOT live at home with his parent(s), unless it's due to parental illness or some other extenuating circumstances that is beneficial to the parent(s).
  6. he must have a creative outlet - play an instrument, love music, movies, and art, paint, draw, read books, even playing video games is acceptable. However, the creative outlet can't be the only thing they do!! i.e. if they are a non-working musician they have to have another job. 
  7. he has to know how to clean up after himself, can't be a slob, know how to do the dishes, laundry, clean the house.
  8. he has to be handy around the house, general maintenance, lawn care, house care.
  9. he has to like to eat a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables. I am a vegetarian that eats fish (sometimes grilled chicken) and I cook some very interesting dishes. He has to be adventurous with his diet and willing to try new things as I find them. He has to like to try new restaurants and ethnic food.
  10. he has to LOVE THE OUTDOORS! I do and I can't fathom my life without being outside. I love to camp, I love to visit the mountains, tne woods, streams, fields, trees, lakes, sandy beaches, anything outdoors!! I love the fresh air and the beauty of God's creation.
  11. he has to have a good sense of humor, an even temperment, be able to put up with my constant need for communication, talking, writing, doing anything. He has to understand that I am an extremely outgoing person and need external stimulation of all kinds.
  12. he has to like my friends. I have some neurotic friends, don't we all?? He even has to like them!! I have friends that I have had my whole life, since I was 5, 12, 21. I won't give them up for anyone.
  13. he has to like sex as much as I do or more. None of this - once in a while crap, it has to be on a regular basis.
  14. he has to think that I am beautiful and have a great body. Even when I don't think it's so great! I mean, I've lost 55 pounds since Sept. and am still working at it to lose more. 
  15. he has to think I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him.

"...And in the end The love you take is equal to the love you make." ---The Beatles
Thanks for reading my Heavenly Thoughts

No comments: