Life & Death

The last 2 weeks have been quite a ride of emotion and life events. It started with my husband in the hospital. He's got a terminal disease, PKD - polycystic kidney disease. And even though it's our reality with dialysis, a huge regimen of drugs, we don't really think about death on a daily basis. Or at least we don't talk about it. But when he was in the hospital our mortality was in my face and I'm really not ready for it.

But since then, I've been to a baby shower - such a blessed celebration of life! Then to a wedding of a dear, old friend. Another wonderful celebration with family and friends! Both events were lively and fun, filled with laughter and love.

Our lovely Lyrikah had her first swim in our backyard pool. I've thoroughly enjoyed my time in the garden, digging in the dirt is so therapeutic - but I got stung by some unknown assailant in my flower bed - enough that I actually had to go to the Dr! 

My ex-husband and I have actually figured out how to have a "friendly" relationship and our kids are overjoyed! I really have to thank Beka for reminding me how much she loves him even with all his flaws. As a result my house is getting a facelift and paint will be going on the walls starting today!!

A friend of mine's daughter, Shelly, is exactly the same age as Jake, 25, born the same day. Shelly's daughter, Melanie, was 6 years old and died in March due to cancer. Shelly had such a hard way to go herself, because I have learned she too, has cancer. Things escalated and she had to have surgery last Thursday. They removed the tumor, think they have it all and now will face chemo and radiation treatments. The prognosis is hopeful.

After all of those events, the final curtain has fallen on 2 people that I know. My friend, Steve's dad, Al. He was elderly, lived a nice long life and died in his sleep. Very restful way to go. He had some health issues, but refused treatment because he was ready to go and wanted to go at home. Blessings to his family - the funeral is this Thursday night.

But the shocker of the week - my friend Jeff who painted my house in Reading when I was moving to California. Jeff was a great gardener, my inspiration for learning organic gardening. He knew everything about growing anything. He was only 48 years old. The sad part for Jeff is he was an alcoholic, druggie guy. We all loved him anyway, because we didn't have to deal with the aftermath of his addictions. But his Mother will have to bury him and Jeff didn't have anything. So, this will be a sad sad day coming up.

2 little weeks in the life ... and see how many things have happened!  It's a constant reminder of how precious life is. Love, laugh and live!!!  It's gone in a blink.

"...And in the end... The love you take is equal to the love you make." ---The Beatles

Thanks for reading my Heavenly Thoughts

Dream about my Mom

I have to confess - the other day I saw John Edward, the psychic, on Glenn Beck's show on CNN. Someone called in and asked about "encounters" that they believe they are having with their dearly departed - how do they know if it's just them missing the departed OR the departed trying to come through. He suggests that we write down these experiences and then we can glean after so many if it's a period where we are missing them or where they were trying to communicate. So here goes:

Last night I had a dream about my Mom. [For those of you that don't know, my Mom died on Jan 30, 1992 of cancer - I quit smoking at that time.] In my dream, we (my cousin Carol, cousin Don, Mom, myself at my Aunt's (my Mom's sister) house. I think we were there because my aunt was sick, but I never did see her in the dream.

My Mom and I were talking, but I can't recall the details of the conversation at all. It was time for me to go, but I didn't have a car there. I was dropped off by a co-worker. I took my Mom's 1969 Dodge Dart and started driving up the street. I realized that I left my Mom stranded so I was going to pull over to ask if Don or Carol if they could drive her home.

Roland was walking down the street to meet with me. (specifically wearing the pink Ralph Lauren shirt I bought him - don't know if that's significant, but it stood out so clearly!) So, I pulled over to get him and call my Mom.

The next thing we were at my Mom's and she had passed. I parked her car in the garage and the garage door was made of paper, you know the kind that paper lanterns are made of - very strange. And to secure the car, we had to padlock to a post of some kind, including the battery - I don't know that part was weird.

We went inside her house and I remembered everything around, but nothing stood out except a piece of furniture that I've never seen. It was a buffet, full of linens and dining accessories. But it was VERY unique. It was a wooden and marble inlay pattern, very distinctive and totally unique. One drawer in particular was of interest to me. It was across the entire width of the piece and in the middle of the drawers. It was kind of a thin drawer, not very deep at all. Inside of it were smaller "blocks" of this same inlay wood and marble pattern, and linen napkins and so on were "wrapped" around the "blocks". It's hard to explain, but the blocks were attached to the drawer bottom with a hinge, so they would lift up and come forward, but stay attached to the drawer and I could remove the napkins and towels that were wrapped around them.

It was very quiet in my Mom's house and my entire focus was this piece of furniture.

That's it.

Now, I do have another dream from quite some time ago that has stuck with me that I feel I should write down to remember - so here it is:

It happened before I moved to California, but while I was planning the move. I was in my old room, in Reading. And I was sleeping (obviously) but in my sleep I smelled my Mom's perfume and she came to me and shook me to try to wake me up. I kept rolling over to try to stay asleep, but she kept trying to shake me and wake me. I resisted over and over again and then finally she must have given up because the shaking stopped. Of course, as things would go, when it stopped I woke up, sat up in bed and looked around for her to talk to her. I could still smell her perfume - she always wore Foxfire by Avon.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!