Great time at Starbucks

fun to talk and relax!

After a long, hectic day, I actually met a dear friend for a cup of coffee at Starbucks in Loveland and just relaxed. It was great, I haven't seen her in a long time. She looked fantastic!! We met after work. Venti Fat Free Latte for me, Grande Caramel Cappucino for her. Lead to 3 hours of gabbing.

We have known each other for 23 years. Been through marriages together, babies being born, kids growing up, holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, grand babies (she's got 5 kids of her own and 4 grand babies already :). We're each other's kids aunts. I used to be married to her brother, but she never held that against me - hehe!

We talked about mainly work, but also about our kids, our health, what we would love to do with our careers, and just a general hello. It's funny, but we literally haven't seen each other in 2 years, I'm sure of that, and it's as if we see each other all the time. We sat down and just started talking without skipping a beat.

thanks for such a great time tonight. I needed the break and having some time to just relax. See you soon!

It's only Monday....

and I'm already behind!! YIKES!

It's really challenging to start the day already behind, much less the entire week. I'm really not sure if I can sustain this pace for much longer. I am busy every day, with no lag in between. It's very fast-paced and I'm running in multiple directions all the time. I guess, what I really need is a VACATION!! I think for me, it's wise to start planning to take my vacation in long weekend terms. So, maybe to plan to work Mon-Thurs and take at least one Friday off a month. I'm kind of starting that this week, just to see if that will help. I have a personal day scheduled for Friday, although, I have a feeling that I'll be working enough before Friday and over the weekend that I won't even have to take the personal day :(

On the other hand, it's good to be this busy. I mean, it means that we have projects and new work coming. It's important to maintain the pipeline and sustain the current customer base. That is definitely happening. We are growing and sustaining. I'm relieved about that. That does mean that my team is in tack, they are busy and that's a good thing.

I guess it's just me at this point. I have too many irons in the fire. I have too many things going on at the same time that it's hard to read all the emails, act on all the requests, and keep everyone happy.

Well, that's my 15 minute rant, and that's all I have time for. Gotta get back to work.

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
-- Ben Frankin

Ode to Beth

I know she visited me yesterday :)

My friend Beth died November 26, 2001 from cancer. The last time that I saw her was February 2001 at my house, her first trip to Ohio and her first time seeing snow!! The last time that we spoke was later that summer while Beka was visiting her. I think of her often. But yesterday, I am positive that she was in my house visiting us.

Beth was a fantastic woman! Her attitude was always positive, she always looked for the good in people, she had a servant's heart and wanted everyone to be happy, to be comfortable and to have full tummys and she could really cook! She was a true Southern Belle!

We worked together, she was the admin at a company where I worked during the Dot Com Craze. She probably drove quite a few people crazy because she was well known in our company as the lady at the front desk that sang all the time. If she was on American Idol, Simon would have some really mean thing to say to her because her singing was all that great - kind of out of tune! Ironic, because her significant other owned a recording studio and was a recording engineer/producer!

They were a great couple, had "the boys", who turned out to be two dogs: miniature dachshund and miniature rottwelier. They were two of the barkiest dogs on the planet, but Beth loved those boys so much. She would walk them, dress them up for the holidays, especially halloween!! She and Jim cooked great food and she served it on some of the most elegant place settings I have ever seen.

She ran an Ebay business in addition to working at our company. She sold all sorts of things and taught me how to become a seller. I have sold a few things, thanks to her sharing her knowledge. We both enjoyed Ebaying and sharing the stories of what sold for what!! Always a big surprise! She had a nose for antiques and lived in the most perfect place on the planet to pick up cool stuff for a good price - she lived in Florida - her whole life - which she affectionately referred to as "God's Waiting Grounds". We used to spend Saturday afternoons driving around visiting thrift shops and finding some astounding items. As I walk through my house, I am often reminded of Beth because of some of the things she has bought and others that I bought while I was with her.

When she first told me that she had cancer, she really downplayed it. She would search on the Internet for clinical studies that she might qualify for. She never told anyone how bad it was. You see, Beth didn't have health insurance because by the time that she found out, our investors pulled out and she didn't have a job. She wasn't married to Jim, so she didn't have any insurance. She saw a doctor in Gainesville who agreed to see her pro bono, the problem was she couldn't get her prescriptions or hospital care pro bono. Her drugs were very expensive and she couldn't afford them. The other problem is that she didn't communicate this to her friends, she kept it very quiet and private.

Because of that her illness got out of control and by the time it was near her "end" she had a tumor the size of a football in her side. It just makes me so sad to even write this. I love her and miss her. She was the sweetest woman around.

But she was in my house yesterday, I could smell the last meal she cooked in my house, I could picture her adding her 'secret ingredients' to mashed potatoes, I saw her wrapping the gifts that she sent and I felt her in my house. She was on my mind from the moment I woke up to when I went to bed and again this evening.

Beth, we love you! We miss you! I am sure that you are watching and are very proud to see how great the kids have turned out! How grown up Beka has become and how responsible she is. What a great job Jake is doing in college, plus his walk of faith is mind-boggling! We were so happy to share our fair city with you, some snow and lots of fun 4 years ago.

There is no one like you! You are unique and well loved. We'll see you one of these days, my friend. Luv ya!!

It's Been A While

Too much going on

It's been a while since I had time to write in my blog. I guess it's because I've been too busy at work and home. My health has taken the forefront in my thought process. I have been seeing my doctor's on a regular basis. I've been poked, prodded, ultrasounded, x-rayed, discussed and so on. I have a new set of fears with each step of the process. Alot of it is still unknown and that probably drives me the craziest. I am such a calculated, detail-oriented person that I expect things to be a certain way. But with doctor's and health, I guess I have to wait to see what's going to happen and have to trust their expertise and judgement. I would prefer for everything to happen instantly.

Things at work have been so busy. My to do list is getting under control, but it's still pretty long. I have managed to stay afloat, keeping the plates spinning, but it's not been easy. It's just a matter of keeping the priorities straight. God knows I try. I work long hours, get to work early, work all day, come home & fix dinner, then work some more. Sometimes, I think that all my work has lead to problems in my relationship. Not that all of our problems are my fault or due to my job, but I would say that it's a contributing factor. I wish it was different. I wish that I had a normal job, even if I worked weird hours, I just want a reasonable amount of time working. I am tired of working 50-60 hours every week. I have done it now for 4 years and it's taxing. You know the strange this is that I feel guilty when I take time to do the laundry or clean my house or even cook dinner. I am always thinking about work. I don't take time for myself, I don't get to take care of myself the way I would like. I just muddle through, taking things as they come and working all the time.

I try to keep things in perpective. I try to organize my life, prioritizing my duties, my responsibilities, my schedule. Sometimes I don't make every choice as the best choice, but again, I try. I am continually looking to improve my life, and I have alot more to work on :)

The thing is that I work so much, then sometimes I'll just sit down to relax in the evening and then I fall asleep, exhausted. But then when I wake up I just do it all over again. I need a BREAK! Not a vacation, that doesn't help, I need a break. I need more manageable job duties and responsibilities. Good luck!!

Well, my relationship is in the toilet again. He's got most of his stuff moved out, but was still staying here until last night. It was what seemed like the last straw. Long story, kind of personal, but I can say that I felt so frickin' compelled to work that I chose work over spending time with him. Stupid Stupid Stupid. He left in a huff, I was upset and still had to work. It totally sucked, then I couldn't work effectively today, had to go to the doctor's and came home exhausted. Slept for hours and still have a long to do list. It's got to end.

I heard that yesterday was the most depressing day of the year, according to one study. Kind of interesting, it was a combination of post Christmas, winter, new year, and some other factors. It was also a full moon and I definitely felt the affects! Hope that I don't have another day like that again for a while.

I hope you are doing good, are happy, are enjoying the new year and that your job is much better than mine.

Effects of Stress

is there such a thing as good or bad stress?

My job is so overwhelming at this point, that I wonder if the stress is good or bad. I mean, it's been overwhelming for over 2 years now and I keep putting up with it and trying to deal. I have trouble sleeping most nights, I get especially bitchy and my feelings are totally transparent, I complain way to much about way too little, and now I am wondering if it is having any long-term affects on my health.

I am going to see the surgeon next Tuesday. She is going to look at my mammograms, past and present, make a judgment call on the radiologists findings. I am going to talk to her about stress and how it can affect me. I could tell that when I took a vacation, I had a much more positive attitude. I was enjoying myself, resting more: relaxing and reading, cleaning out closets, organizing my stuff. Still working but only on client projects, not doing the endless stream of reports and approvals, chasing down other people to get them to do their work. Sometimes it's like a ball of string!

More on this as the time comes.

Cooking Class

Absolutely Fabulous!!

Tonight was a cooking class at Jimmy Gherardi's The Restaurant. It was great. Now we are working on a marketing plan to help him get more traffic at this restaurant. The funny thing is that he gets sold out cooking classes and he gets sold out weekend nights with NO reservations, but during the week, the traffic into his restaurant is terrible. The food is great, absoutely delicious, the prices are reasonable for fine dining. The location is convenient, no downtown hassles, no funky parking problems, no panhandlers. The problem is that there is no traffic in his strip mall.

OK, I could use some ideas. We know the usual table tents, outside and inside easels, ads in local papers, but there has to be more. He wants to do catering, is willing to close down for large groups, has a great ambience, just need some ideas. Please email me with any ideas that you have for marketing an upscale restaurant with a well known chef.

It's great there, one of my favorite places. He's one of my favorite friends. I don't want to let him down. I appreciate any ideas that you might have. :)

nice day, relaxing and rejuvenating

hard to concentrate on work

I have worked so much this week, that I am having a touch time concentrating on more work. I have a few things that I could do and then I think that's all I'll do.

I woke up this morning and made a fantastic dinner. I had it ready when Rainman went to work. He LOVED it! He's working outside now, so in this cold weather I think it's important to have a hot meal to help stay warm. I hope he dressed appropriately and that he's going to be alright.

When he was leaving for work, my friend that was supposed to come over last night picked me up and we went to Olive Garden for lunch. It was so much fun. We talked and talked the whole 3 hrs that we were together. We both had the same thing: Stuffed Shells with Shrimp. It was delicious. We also had Long Island Ice Teas to drink and plenty of salad. It was great to be out without any kids, any interruptions, just the two of us talking about our lives. We have known each other for nearly 10 years now. Funny how we met......

...I was planning on moving to this part of time after getting my divorce. I looked at quite a few apartments and one of them was in the downstairs of a house. It was a sweet set up, walk into a big, open living room and straight back was the dining area and kitchen, more like a great room for the size. I loved it, then to the right was the laundry room at the bottom of the steps to go upstairs and outside to the back yard. Next on the left was the bathroom, which led into a humongous bedroom, very open, very welcoming. Across from the laundry room was a small bedroom, looked more like a huge closet that was renovated into a small bedroom. It was so small that a twin bed and dresser would be all that would fit into this space. The money was right, the location was great, the back yard was inviting, but the 2nd bedroom was too small. I had two kids living at home at the time - a boy and a girl and I didn't want the tiny bedroom and the big bedroom was too large for just one of us. I would have had to share it with my daughter or taken the small room and let the kids have the large one. The guy that showed the place was absolutely gorgeous and he told me that his sister lived upstairs with a new baby and she was a college student. She would share the laundry facilities with me and gladly share the backyard with the kids. Unfortunately, it just wasn't the right place for us at the time. I turned it down and found another place.

After living there for 4 months, I started my college classes and soon after I met a woman in my classes that lived in my neighborhood. Upon further getting to know her, I learned she is a stylist and for earn extra money she cut hair at home. Well, that was perfect, because as a college student, mother of two, I didn't have much money to go to a salon plus I wanted to know more people in my community. So, I went to her house for the first time shortly after meeting her to get a hair cut. I was shocked when I pulled up to the house! It was the house that I looked at with the bedroom that was too small downstairs. It was fate for us to be friends....even though I turned down the apartment, we ended up being friends anyway. Funny how life works that way.

Well, her daughter was a baby then and now she's 10!! So, we have been friends for all that time. She still cuts my hair, my kids' hair and we still hang out. It's great how that happens. We've only gone out a few times, we mostly stay home and hang out mostly at her house. But today, it was Olive Garden.

Well, the drinks were good, the food was delicious and the conversation lively. It was a great way to spend time with a friend. I highly recommend it. It's been snowing all day, so the weather's perfect to have a wonderful meal and a couple of drinks.

When I got home, my dogs had decided to dig through the garbage looking for scraps of food, which don't exist in there. They only got the wrapper off the ham to lick. Dumb dogs. After I cleaned that up, I fixed my kids some dinner and started thinking about the work that I have to do. I'm thinking about how much of it to do. I don't think that my head is around it to do very much. I have so many other things to do, including this one activity that I don't get to do too often ---- it's called RELAX. I'm weighing the benefits of relaxing over the benefit of working again today. I think I should take a little more time off and do a little work tonight. Maybe watch a movie or something. So, I'm off to see what movie that I would like to see. Maybe Along Came Polly. I'll let you know what I think of it after I watch it.

C-ya, have a good one!